So I am ok with adoption. I was ok with proceeding with adoption now. Maybe I still am. I woke up this morning at 4am, worrying about it. Why? Cause I'm insane? I'm the most indecisive woman in the world? You'd think the decision has to be made NOW, with the way I'm acting. My husband is amazing but frustrating. He just rolls with whatever. He is sooooo laid back. He's soooooo perfect for me.
Yesterday, I was telling a friend about our RE appointment. She's the most fertile woman in the world, and bless her heart, she doesn't try to understand everything, she just sits there and makes suggestions. I don't think it's possible for fertile myrtles to even begin to grasp what we go through and I have a high respect for someone who is smart enough to not even try. She's offered us the use of her womb. She mentioned it to me a few months ago, which, of course, made me cry. I still cry thinking about it. It's the most self-less thing anyone can do.
I put it in the back of my mind, until yesterday she said "if you want my womb, use it now before I lose this 15lbs I gained". (this 15lbs is not noticable, as she's 120lbs.) That one sentence has had me obsessing all night. She knows we have that single frozen embryo and feels it's a fighter and is THE one.
My husband and I have no reason to believe I could not carry a baby to term. We haven't made it that far. But the comment really got me thinking through the whole thing again. Thinking. Blah. I hate being indecisive. I excell at it. I could easily get the award for most indecisive.
My major issue now goes back to that single tiny embryo we have frozen. There are so many options we can do or not. It would be perfect if we can find someone to donate us a couple of nice embryos, transfer them, along with our little frozen dude, and hope for the best.
The clinic we did the IVFs - fart on 'em. We're done with them. The clinic we saw last week - they didn't seem to keen on messing with donated embryos. If we can find a clinic that would be on board to coordinate the whole ordeal, for a reasonable cost, we'd be game. There's not many RE clinics in KY and the surrounding area to choose from.
I'm ok with leaving the little frozen dude there a couple of years. We can hopefully have a child through adoption and maybe the decision on the embryo will just happen naturally. What if there are changes to embryo donation/adoption in the next couple of years? I see this happening as more people become aware of it.
If you know any clinics in the KY area that would help coordinate and transfer donated embryos, let me know. We're open for suggestions.
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Second Opinion RE
We saw the new RE on Thursday. We were impressed. He actually had a personality. Specialists usually tend to not be very personable, so we weren't expecting much in the personality arena. We were pleasantly surprised that he was kinda nice. It didn't seem like he was giving us his 'scripted' evaluation.
He looked over all of our records and saw nothing that seemed to be amiss. He said they do about 5 times more IVFs than the other clinic, and maybe their lab just didn't work well for us. He said they have had many patients get pregnant with them, after having multiple failed IVFs elsewhere. Suggested ICSI with assisted hatching and transfer of 2 embryos. They could transfer 3, but he's having a high amount of triplets lately. "So if you'll just see Cheryl, and write a check for $12,000.00, we'll get you scheduled right away".
I've not seen many specialists before. Thankfully, I'm fairly healthy. However, I still get the feeling that I'm at a car lot or an insurance sales office. I can almost hear the salesman say "you pay, we do whatever you want". This clinic was much more subtle about it, but I couldn't help but have that feeling. Salesmen with Power.
So, they checked my records, measured my uterus and the size of my ovaries. Everything looked fine, apparently. He said they can do a semen analysis on my husband and a laproscopy on me and try IUI route again, or we can go straight to IVF. They apparently do better, more thorough testing on semen. The laproscopy would help determine if my tubes are open enough to allow the eggs to pass through to meet the sperm. Apparently tubes can get scarred and icky from just normal ovulation and age. Who'd a thought. Anyway, we've had 3-4 IUIs, and multiple regular semen analysis'. We all know his guys are messed up and he has low numbers. I'm not convinced IUI's would result in anything more than an even emptier wallet. Although we are both somewhat relieved to hear there's nothing majorly amiss with our past IVFs, we're at a different crossroad.
We could:
He looked over all of our records and saw nothing that seemed to be amiss. He said they do about 5 times more IVFs than the other clinic, and maybe their lab just didn't work well for us. He said they have had many patients get pregnant with them, after having multiple failed IVFs elsewhere. Suggested ICSI with assisted hatching and transfer of 2 embryos. They could transfer 3, but he's having a high amount of triplets lately. "So if you'll just see Cheryl, and write a check for $12,000.00, we'll get you scheduled right away".
I've not seen many specialists before. Thankfully, I'm fairly healthy. However, I still get the feeling that I'm at a car lot or an insurance sales office. I can almost hear the salesman say "you pay, we do whatever you want". This clinic was much more subtle about it, but I couldn't help but have that feeling. Salesmen with Power.
So, they checked my records, measured my uterus and the size of my ovaries. Everything looked fine, apparently. He said they can do a semen analysis on my husband and a laproscopy on me and try IUI route again, or we can go straight to IVF. They apparently do better, more thorough testing on semen. The laproscopy would help determine if my tubes are open enough to allow the eggs to pass through to meet the sperm. Apparently tubes can get scarred and icky from just normal ovulation and age. Who'd a thought. Anyway, we've had 3-4 IUIs, and multiple regular semen analysis'. We all know his guys are messed up and he has low numbers. I'm not convinced IUI's would result in anything more than an even emptier wallet. Although we are both somewhat relieved to hear there's nothing majorly amiss with our past IVFs, we're at a different crossroad.
We could:
- Do the semen analysis, laproscopy, IUI route - which is not cheap - I'm guessing somewhere around $5,000.00 at this clinic, and hope for a different result than last 3-4
- Do another round of IVF - at a cost of around $12K, plus drive time and lots of time away from work--the clinic is 1.5 hours away from home, and hope for a different result than the last 2
- Domestic adoption
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Attempting to Fact Seek...
My husband and I talked over the weekend and have decided to talk with another doctor. (I actually mentioned that I get my Christmas fund in Oct or Nov that would pay for an office visit) Anyway, I'm at this point where I just need to know. I need to know if we should be reaching for embryo adoption/donation or newborn domestic adoption.
So, I called another RE, about 100 miles away. I left a message yesterday morning with the clinic, asking they call me back to schedule an appointment. Their message said it can take up to 2 days for a return call! Holy Cow! 2 days just to SCHEDULE an appointment?! Good grief.
Well, they called today. I briefly explained our situation. We aren't wanting to do any more fresh IVFs, we have one frozen embryo, interested in embryo donation/adoption and want to know more about what the problem is so we can figure out if we need to proceed with domestic adoption. They said an IVF nurse will call me. IVF nurse called this afternoon, I told her the same thing as the first person, and was referred to the embryo adoption/donation nurse, where I left a message for a return call on her voicemail.
Now I wait for a callback to see who I will referred to next. I really want a second opinion, someone to look at my records and tell me what's going on. Are my eggs too old? Is there a problem with my uterus or implantation? We know nothing more now than we did before the 2 IVFs. Except that we had 2 failed IVFs and are $18K poorer. I also want to know about their embryo donation/adoption program, what's involved and if it would maybe work for us.
So, we'll see, when I get a callback, hopefully tomorrow.
So, I called another RE, about 100 miles away. I left a message yesterday morning with the clinic, asking they call me back to schedule an appointment. Their message said it can take up to 2 days for a return call! Holy Cow! 2 days just to SCHEDULE an appointment?! Good grief.
Well, they called today. I briefly explained our situation. We aren't wanting to do any more fresh IVFs, we have one frozen embryo, interested in embryo donation/adoption and want to know more about what the problem is so we can figure out if we need to proceed with domestic adoption. They said an IVF nurse will call me. IVF nurse called this afternoon, I told her the same thing as the first person, and was referred to the embryo adoption/donation nurse, where I left a message for a return call on her voicemail.
Now I wait for a callback to see who I will referred to next. I really want a second opinion, someone to look at my records and tell me what's going on. Are my eggs too old? Is there a problem with my uterus or implantation? We know nothing more now than we did before the 2 IVFs. Except that we had 2 failed IVFs and are $18K poorer. I also want to know about their embryo donation/adoption program, what's involved and if it would maybe work for us.
So, we'll see, when I get a callback, hopefully tomorrow.
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