We picked little baby V from the hospital on Saturday afternoon. She's so tiny! Holy cow, she's 11 weeks old and 10 lbs. She's absolutely beautiful. So sweet, tiny and dainty. Such a little girl!
The nurse told us they were feeding her 2-3.5 oz every 3 hours. She's not doing that at all for us. We can occasionally get her to eat 3oz, but mostly she eats 1-2 oz every now and then. She sleeps alot and doesn't eat very often throughout the day. We have an appointment with a pediatrician in a couple of hours and I'm hoping they can help me get more food to stay in her. She's so unbelievably tiny!
We sat down and talked with little mommie T to explain everything, before she arrived. We were dreading it, because it's very important that she remain comfortable with us and know that we are still here for her and that nothing has changed. She seemed pretty cool with it. She went with us to pick out a few sleepers and we let her pick what she would wear home. She even went with us to the hospital, although they wouldn't let her up there.
Thankfully the latest head MRI of baby V was normal. I saw some of her medical records. The mass on her brain is small and appears there is no major issues from it. Her rib fractures are healing, they think they are 3-6 weeks old. And all of her other fractures are also healing and were old as well. We were told she's just a perfect little happy baby. When I think about it, I want to cry. She had multiple fractures of her little body and was left to feel all that pain. She's felt pain her whole life. Yes, I have cried.
Little mommie T has been afraid to touch her. I keep telling her that she's fine, and just this morning T held and cuddled her a bit before school. (yes, I'm taking the day off to sleep and get to know V some) So, T will come around, how could she not?
What happens next? Well, I located V's dad on Sex Offenders Registry. He was charged with Second Degree Sexual Assault with a Child. She has his nose.
We meet both parents (or one if dad is still in jail) one day this week for the family meeting. Truthfully, I am not looking forward to it so much. But it's par for the course and we have to do it.
Baby's waking up, so laters!
Showing posts with label foster parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foster parents. Show all posts
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Fostering... times 3....!! Holy Cow!
Can they run IV drip of anti-anxiety meds? I'm j/k of course, but you're not gonna believe what we agreed to do yesterday.
We got another call from our social worker for a placement. I cried. This tiny 3month old baby girl (OMG A GIRL!!) has apparently been beaten by her parents. She has fractured ribs, swollen arms and a mass on her brain. She's in the hospital now and they hope to release her today. They have already got emergency removal approved and are apparently investigating to arrest the parents. (Ya think?!)
My husband and I had 15 mins to decide. Take her - or Not. If we didn't already have 2 kiddos, we would, of course not hesitate. Kelly and I had a placement of 2 toddlers in the summer and it was just too much. I think we've got it in our heads that we can only handle 1 child, at the most. People raise 2+ kids every day.
We agreed to take her. This means we are going to have 2 babies (a boy and a girl), 3 months old. They are a few weeks apart in age. The boy we have, belongs to his momma, who is also with us. I'm getting myself confused. Let's call teenage mom, T and her son J. New baby girl, let's call V. (goodness!)
So, T and J live with us as foster kids. Mom is a great mom, her visits with J do not have to be supervised. She basically takes care of him. My husband and I help. We transport them wherever, make sure they have what they need, etc. Mom is really really good with him. We just kind of support and help her. She's graduating highschool the end of December, and my hopes are that after the holidays she can be independent enough for the two of them to move into an independent living facility. We'll see. I have a feeling that where she's been cooped up so long, I'm not sure how focused she will be when she gets more and more freedom.
If mom doesn't stay focused and get her crap together, stay on plan and stuff, she will be removed and J will stay with us. It's too early to tell what path mom will take.
Isn't it wierd how things come together? We actually have an extra baby carseat, that someone gave us ages ago and we never used it. One of our main issues - transportation. I have a Toyota Corolla. Hubby has a Nissan Sentra. Not necessarily good baby/family cars. With J, the passenger in my car already sits with their knees in the dash. Last night we got the second carseat installed. WOW, it was awesome! It's actually smaller! I can drive, with it behind me, and not have to move my seat! ALSO, my daycare is the best ever. I called the day we got J, they had an opening (which NEVER happens). Then, I mentioned the second placement to them yesterday...they're gonna fit us in! OMG, I'm near tears with how everything is falling into place!
Down to earth time - I must stay focused. This new placement, the family is from a different state. I'm pretty much ready for a relative to be located in the next week or so and the child be given to them. There is so little they know about the family, becuase they just moved here recently. So, she may not be with us forever, or she may. It's still too early to tell.
One thing that we have to be prepared for is the damage done to this tiny baby. Will she be delayed? Will she need surgery? Will the mass in her brain worsen or cause other major issues? It's too early to tell at this point, but we're prepared to take on whatever comes out way.
My husband and I totally believe things happen for a reason. The way things are falling into place, we're confident this is the path we are to take and will approach it head-on!
We got another call from our social worker for a placement. I cried. This tiny 3month old baby girl (OMG A GIRL!!) has apparently been beaten by her parents. She has fractured ribs, swollen arms and a mass on her brain. She's in the hospital now and they hope to release her today. They have already got emergency removal approved and are apparently investigating to arrest the parents. (Ya think?!)
My husband and I had 15 mins to decide. Take her - or Not. If we didn't already have 2 kiddos, we would, of course not hesitate. Kelly and I had a placement of 2 toddlers in the summer and it was just too much. I think we've got it in our heads that we can only handle 1 child, at the most. People raise 2+ kids every day.
We agreed to take her. This means we are going to have 2 babies (a boy and a girl), 3 months old. They are a few weeks apart in age. The boy we have, belongs to his momma, who is also with us. I'm getting myself confused. Let's call teenage mom, T and her son J. New baby girl, let's call V. (goodness!)
So, T and J live with us as foster kids. Mom is a great mom, her visits with J do not have to be supervised. She basically takes care of him. My husband and I help. We transport them wherever, make sure they have what they need, etc. Mom is really really good with him. We just kind of support and help her. She's graduating highschool the end of December, and my hopes are that after the holidays she can be independent enough for the two of them to move into an independent living facility. We'll see. I have a feeling that where she's been cooped up so long, I'm not sure how focused she will be when she gets more and more freedom.
If mom doesn't stay focused and get her crap together, stay on plan and stuff, she will be removed and J will stay with us. It's too early to tell what path mom will take.
Isn't it wierd how things come together? We actually have an extra baby carseat, that someone gave us ages ago and we never used it. One of our main issues - transportation. I have a Toyota Corolla. Hubby has a Nissan Sentra. Not necessarily good baby/family cars. With J, the passenger in my car already sits with their knees in the dash. Last night we got the second carseat installed. WOW, it was awesome! It's actually smaller! I can drive, with it behind me, and not have to move my seat! ALSO, my daycare is the best ever. I called the day we got J, they had an opening (which NEVER happens). Then, I mentioned the second placement to them yesterday...they're gonna fit us in! OMG, I'm near tears with how everything is falling into place!
Down to earth time - I must stay focused. This new placement, the family is from a different state. I'm pretty much ready for a relative to be located in the next week or so and the child be given to them. There is so little they know about the family, becuase they just moved here recently. So, she may not be with us forever, or she may. It's still too early to tell.
One thing that we have to be prepared for is the damage done to this tiny baby. Will she be delayed? Will she need surgery? Will the mass in her brain worsen or cause other major issues? It's too early to tell at this point, but we're prepared to take on whatever comes out way.
My husband and I totally believe things happen for a reason. The way things are falling into place, we're confident this is the path we are to take and will approach it head-on!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Fostering..The learning begins.
Our mom and baby came to us on Monday. Mom looked as scared and terrified as we felt. We both quickly voiced our anxiety, which was a bit of an ice breaker. So far so good. I know it's still very early in the honeymoon stage, so I won't say too much. Everything's going great so far. She's listening to us, seems to be a good mom, and seems to want to do the right thing. So far, anyway. Time will tell.
However, I learned something interesting. Foster kids can also become wards of the state when they are unruly or "beyond parental control". The parents don't necessarily have to be bad parents. If the parents can't control you, you can just go live with a bunch of strangers? In her case, there is probably more to it, but good grief, the system seems wierd.
So, apparently a few years ago, she was a wild child. She said she was on the run from the state, AWOL. Living on the streets. Her mom (her father is deceased) had hid her out, so that's why she can't stay with mom. Hmm. I'm baffled. It may make more sense to me once we find out more about her past.
But the baby! OMG! He's absolutely adorable! And such an angel! He smiles and grins all the time! You just talk to him and he grins so big! I took him to daycare the other day and he has those girls all ga ga over him! He just takes to anyone and so far seems to be the perfect little baby! My husband is so cute with him. He sits him up and talks to him, lets him lay on his tummy. (that is what men's tummy's were made for ya know!) So, we're all enjoying him tons!
I'll update as I can, but you can just imagine how chaotic everything is.
However, I learned something interesting. Foster kids can also become wards of the state when they are unruly or "beyond parental control". The parents don't necessarily have to be bad parents. If the parents can't control you, you can just go live with a bunch of strangers? In her case, there is probably more to it, but good grief, the system seems wierd.
So, apparently a few years ago, she was a wild child. She said she was on the run from the state, AWOL. Living on the streets. Her mom (her father is deceased) had hid her out, so that's why she can't stay with mom. Hmm. I'm baffled. It may make more sense to me once we find out more about her past.
But the baby! OMG! He's absolutely adorable! And such an angel! He smiles and grins all the time! You just talk to him and he grins so big! I took him to daycare the other day and he has those girls all ga ga over him! He just takes to anyone and so far seems to be the perfect little baby! My husband is so cute with him. He sits him up and talks to him, lets him lay on his tummy. (that is what men's tummy's were made for ya know!) So, we're all enjoying him tons!
I'll update as I can, but you can just imagine how chaotic everything is.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Accepted a Foster Placement! Yay!
We got a call from our social worker the other day about a placement. 17 year old girl with her 3 month old baby boy. She turns 18 and graduates highschool next month. They just need a place for them to stay until they are able to get them into an independent living facility. They think, at most, 6 months.
I learned something interesting about the foster system the other day. I had always thought when you turned 18, you're on your own and are dropped into the real world. Well, foster kids can chose to 'recommit'. I'm told if they decide to stay in school, go for some type of secondary education, the state will keep them in the system and pay for everything. They will get their tuition and everything paid, just as before they were 18.
Why would kids NOT do this? It's totally awesome. Most kids really aren't ready to be let loose in the real world at 18 and foster kids are even less ready.
So, this girl supposedly plans to recommit when she's 18 and go back to school. My husband and I will provide them a place to stay and provide mentoring to help get her ready for the real world.
We're a little nervous. Ok, we're alot nervous. She's been in the system for many years. Thankfully she has no criminal record or any major issues. The social worker will bring her and the baby to us on Monday. We will all sit down and work out a "contract" of expectations. We want to lay it on the table up front, what we expect from her and what she can expect from us.
This isn't really the type of placement we initially agreed to do. But we're just sitting here, with the extra space and ability - why not do something while we wait?
I hope this works, because we totally love the idea of giving kids support and helping them be independent and make it on their own. They've had such a crappy life and if we can make a small difference, then we are happy with that!
I learned something interesting about the foster system the other day. I had always thought when you turned 18, you're on your own and are dropped into the real world. Well, foster kids can chose to 'recommit'. I'm told if they decide to stay in school, go for some type of secondary education, the state will keep them in the system and pay for everything. They will get their tuition and everything paid, just as before they were 18.
Why would kids NOT do this? It's totally awesome. Most kids really aren't ready to be let loose in the real world at 18 and foster kids are even less ready.
So, this girl supposedly plans to recommit when she's 18 and go back to school. My husband and I will provide them a place to stay and provide mentoring to help get her ready for the real world.
We're a little nervous. Ok, we're alot nervous. She's been in the system for many years. Thankfully she has no criminal record or any major issues. The social worker will bring her and the baby to us on Monday. We will all sit down and work out a "contract" of expectations. We want to lay it on the table up front, what we expect from her and what she can expect from us.
This isn't really the type of placement we initially agreed to do. But we're just sitting here, with the extra space and ability - why not do something while we wait?
I hope this works, because we totally love the idea of giving kids support and helping them be independent and make it on their own. They've had such a crappy life and if we can make a small difference, then we are happy with that!
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