Confusion has set in

So I am ok with adoption. I was ok with proceeding with adoption now. Maybe I still am. I woke up this morning at 4am, worrying about it.  Why?  Cause I'm insane? I'm the most indecisive woman in the world? You'd think the decision has to be made NOW, with the way I'm acting.  My husband is amazing but frustrating. He just rolls with whatever.  He is sooooo laid back. He's soooooo perfect for me. 

Yesterday, I was telling a friend about our RE appointment.  She's the most fertile woman in the world, and bless her heart, she doesn't try to understand everything, she just sits there and makes suggestions.  I don't think it's possible for fertile myrtles to even begin to grasp what we go through and I have a high respect for someone who is smart enough to not even try.   She's offered us the use of her womb.  She mentioned it to me a few months ago, which, of course, made me cry. I still cry thinking about it. It's the most self-less thing anyone can do.

I put it in the back of my mind, until yesterday she said "if you want my womb, use it now before I lose this 15lbs I gained".  (this 15lbs is not noticable, as she's 120lbs.) That one sentence has had me obsessing all night. She knows we have that single frozen embryo and feels it's a fighter and is THE one.

My husband and I have no reason to believe I could not carry a baby to term.  We haven't made it that far. But the comment really got me thinking through the whole thing again.  Thinking.  Blah.  I hate being indecisive. I excell at it. I could easily get the award for most indecisive. 

My major issue now goes back to that single tiny embryo we have frozen.  There are so many options we can do or not.  It would be perfect if we can find someone to donate us a couple of nice embryos, transfer them, along with our little frozen dude, and hope for the best.

The clinic we did the IVFs - fart on 'em. We're done with them.  The clinic we saw last week - they didn't seem to keen on messing with donated embryos.  If we can find a clinic that would be on board to coordinate the whole ordeal, for a reasonable cost, we'd be game.  There's not many RE clinics in KY and the surrounding area to choose from.

I'm ok with leaving the little frozen dude there a couple of years.  We can hopefully have a child through adoption and maybe the decision on the embryo will just happen naturally.  What if there are changes to embryo donation/adoption in the next couple of years? I see this happening as more people become aware of it.

If you know any clinics in the KY area that would help coordinate and transfer donated embryos, let me know. We're open for suggestions.