Tears - they are right there on the surface.

I broke down and made the call. I called the clinic that we saw a couple of weeks ago and asked them point-blank, if they would be willing to do a FET with donated embryos.   It didn't go too well. I nearly cried.

I asked if I found embryos, if they would transfer them, and our single frozen embryo.  A quick summary of their answer: "if the sun, moon and stars are in perfect alignment."

Apparently, I'm the first person to ask this question. They have their own "donor program", but it consists of maybe 1-2 a year, and they go only to couples who have really severe infertility issues.  I'm ok with this and think this is a very good idea. I realize there are others who have ickier fertility issues than we do.

First, she said they have never transferred 2 different people's embryos into the same person. Ever. She's not sure if they ever would.  She could not give me a straight answer.

Second, they could possibly transfer someone elses embryos if (and this wording could be wrong, she was talking fast and I was writing it down) ..if they have the "donor eligibility determination and summary of records."  Everything has to abide by FDA and ASRM guides.  The FDA part, I was familiar with, but not the ASRM (American Society for Reproductive Medicine). Hey, I'm ok with doing this the "right" way. I'm not wanting to break rules here or anything.  At the same time, I cannot see how these clinics are doing it unethically.  But what do I know?

I just wanted to know if they would facilitate this or not. Yes or no. Simple answer. Or so I thought.  So, I guess I got my answer.

They would, however, be utterly delighted to do a fresh IVF cycle for a low price of $6800, plus ICSI $1200, plus assisted hatching $500.00. Oh, and don't forget the meds - $1000.  Grand total $9500.00.  We would be down with doing this, IF we hadn't already done 2 IVFs and dropped $20,000.00. 

She did suggest another option. We could try to transfer our frozen dude.  If the little guy doesn't thaw, we would just be out the cost of the meds. We would get most of the transfer fee back if it's not done. If we go through with the transfer, the cost is around $2,700.  (Plus meds)

I sound like a bad person, but I'm really not.  It even sounds kinda like we're trying to get a child the cheapest way possible. I'm not gonna lie and say money isn't a factor.  We truly thought the IVFs or fertility treatments we had would result in our family.  Failure was not something we even considered.

So now we're faced with monthly payments of 3 years of treatments, and no child.  My husband and I got married, bought a house and started the family path alot later than most.  We work our tails off and have done everything ourselves.  We've both been over our heads financially in the past, and we do not want to ever do that again.

Emotions are running through me again. I nearly cried talking with this lady. I'm sure she hears it every day.

It's just wrong that good people have to be put through this.  We just want a child.